Life while on a Bench

It's annoying, really. I've been battling an on and off fever for a few days now, coupled with a persistent sore throat and a bad headache that usually accompanies the fever when it's on. My whole body - particularly my back - aches like hell, too, especially when my temperature is soaring.

Mom isn't all that concerned, so it's probably nothing - she said something about getting it from one of my sisters the previous weekend, but actually I'm more inclined to believe that I got it when I went to the capital this past Wednesday, since the headaches only started the following day (I thought it was because I was awfully tired, what with all the stuff I did at that time). I hate that I have to lie in bed all day without anything to do, though. It's not exactly healthy of me to sit in front of the computer right now, as my head starts to throb if I stay up for too long, but I am completely bored.

Rrgh.

Happy birthday, tokyofish! :XD:

I must have pressed the "send" button at Hallmark more than a dozen times for your e-card, but I received no indication if it got sent or not, so I'm sorry if I ever ended up spamming your mail... and even sorrier if you received none at all! ^^;

I've been waiting for Comic Odyssey to have a copy of Sakura Taisen vol. 5 for weeks since its release.

They still don't have a copy, and it won't be delivered in this week's shipment either. (¬_¬)

I really wish I asked Chibi-imp to get me one at Kinokuniya when she asked me if I would like her to buy something for me when she went to Singapore with her family last week.

Too bad I have no idea if she took her cellphone along with her so that I can send her a message.

*Sigh*

I've always wanted to play a flute.

I never got around to it, though. I did get a bamboo flute from my friends back in college once, but that was as far as I ever got.

Mom had a recorder when she was young, and I inherited it and played it to death when I was in elementary school. I have no idea where it is now, but I assume she must have already thrown in away - it was pretty much in a state of utter disrepair when I got to high school, having not known how to take care of it. ^^;

I also tried playing the guitar when I was much younger, but the fingers that I thought were long enough to play the piano (the only instrument of which I'm pretty sure I at least know how to play well, even if I haven't tried to do really complex pieces yet...) could hardly depress the right strings at the proper frets. ^^;

Seeing my little sisters play the guitar made me try again, though. As of now, I only know how to play one song - "Leaving On A Jet Plane". Though it only has three chords, my fingers are still struggling with them. And my wrist hurts afterwards. ^^;

Ah, well. The key to playing instruments is practice, practice, practice!

I'd like to try a saxophone someday, too... :XD:

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Men...

When it comes to women, if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all! :bleh:

Hehe, bati tayo Jack, ah. :XD:

Once again, congrats to Chibi-imp and her Bambam!

Ever looked up towards the sky as you lie on your back on the passenger seat while someone else drives the car for you?

I just did that today, while our family driver was taking me home, with me being too lazy to drive myself.

There was something relaxing about seeing that wide, blue expanse littered with cottony white clouds while trees whizzed past above the windshield.

Well... mom just fired my niece's babysitter, so I'm now stuck on babysitting duty for days until Alex could get used to her new babysitter...

I wouldn't really mind... if only I didn't promise my best friend I'd help her any way I can for her wedding, which is only two weeks away.

And just when I also finally found the momentum to get working on my projects again so I can finally apply for a job. *Sigh*

My most recent Sakura Taisen fan-mode has been very unhealthy, as I'm finding myself spending left and right for collectibles I haven't thought about collecting until now. I even bought the DC version for the first game though I already own the PS2 and PSP versions, solely because I wanted to complete all four ST games on the DC! It's crazy, I know. I also know that I seriously have to stop my thrift spending. But the fact that I had only started collecting the Kayou shows this year, coupled with the fact that the previous shows are now incredibly rare... it drives me nuts when I see a copy being sold in Play-asia, Yesasia, and CD Japan and I can't buy them. Pretty bad reason for finding a job... all this for the sake of my collections... but... urgh...

Even my current projects are related to ST. I want to make a low-poly koubu dance to Gekitei. I want to make a simple SOS PSP homebrew game, but add a little bit of ST flavor to it ala Hanagumi Taisen Columns.

Very, very unhealthy...

At least in my previous fan modes, I only spent a lot of time doing fanfics. Oh, plus playing the game.

Well, at least the urge to review my algebra and calculus has nothing to do with ST. It goes more with the fact that I feel like I'm now such a dunce when it comes to mathematics; a feeling I hate because it was my best subject back in high school.

Reviewing calculus... I can't believe I just said that...

But anyway, I'll probably have to drag Alex's playpen to my room so that I can work on my projects and keep an eye on her at the same time. Well, at least I have some company when I take a break from work. The both of us just watched the only Kayou show I have (Shin Ai Yueni) this afternoon, and interestingly enough, she paid attention to it through and through. It's too early to tell if this would be like Totoro, though.

I still don't know how to help my friend prepare for her wedding now though, since I have to go to Manila to do so.

She absolutely loves it. :XD:

Dad and the others have tried to get her to like some other shows (Barney, Happy Feet... I suggested "The Little Mermaid", but Dad commented that Ariel is too headstrong and he wouldn't like that on Alex). I have to admit, Totoro does get quite tiring if you end up watching it at least once a day (everyday). So far, though, nothing else captures her attention quite like it. Mom even did an experiment once - she asked me to play with Alex at the far side of the bed away from the television, then she had my youngest sister play Totoro. The moment the opening song played, my niece stopped paying attention to me, got up on her hands and knees, screeched with joy, and crawled her way towards the end of the bed near the television in a flash. The only other times I see her crawl that fast is when she's trying to reach her current favorite toy.

What's even funnier is that I only have the Japanese dubbed, English subbed copy, but she still loves it anyway.

There's a running joke where my parents say she probably understands the film more than they do. It may have something to do with all the J-pop mp3s I've been playing whenever I babysit her. (laughs)

According to Wikipedia, "Hikikomori" is "a Japanese term to refer to the phenomenon of reclusive adolescents and young adults who have chosen to withdraw from social life, often seeking extreme degrees of isolation and confinement due to various personal and social factors in their lives." One of the symptoms is that "a hikikomori's days are characterized by long spells of sleeping, while their nighttime hours are often spent watching TV, extensively playing computer games, surfing the Internet, reading, or other non-social activities."

How scary. I've been displaying that kind of symptom lately. ^^;

I need to start focusing on the more productive schedule I've set for myself, ever since 3D school ended and I've found myself spending too much time wallowing at home.

Or I have to get out more, at the very least.

But ugh, the hot summer sun sure isn't making that part easy. ^^;

--Joy--

I got a new monitor for my birthday!! :XD: My parents bought me a Samsung Syncmaster 940 BW, and I just picked it up today. Ahh... such a wide screen! Such bright colors, too... (still need to adjust brightness and contrast - my eyes can only take so much) For a while I was worried that my relatively old graphics card might not be able to handle it, but it seems my worries are unfounded after all. Now, what to do with the old one? I would probably have to throw it away, since it had been acting up since last year, but it's kind of difficult to part with something you've had for almost 5 years...


--Panicky--

I had sent an inquiry letter yesterday to a game company called Pixelstream, asking if I'm still legible for their internship program given that I'm not a college student, or even a new grad for that matter. What I would do next would depend if I am still able to apply or not. When I received their reply, I ended up scoring an interview this Monday morning, and they're also asking me to submit a portfolio!! Ack!!! I can't submit most of the art I have on DA, as most of them are fan-arts - that would be totally unprofessional! But at the same time, I hardly have enough original art of my own to add in a portfolio!!

Now what do I do?!

Is it just my computer, or does the ads at FF.net randomly distribute viruses? It isn't often, but when I visit that site, every now and then my virus scanner warns me that an exploit virus had entered my cache, and then Firefox just hangs up, forcing me to conduct a thorough check on my system. It only happens when FF.net is open, too...

About a month or so ago, my sister told me about this new-born baby that was abandoned at the hospital where she is currently taking up her residency. She felt so sorry for the poor little guy that she sat beside him as he cried; no one else paid attention, not even the nurses or mid-wives working at the nursery. There was nothing else she could do for him, however, and after being told of the story, all I had was a feeling of regret that I couldn't do anything for the baby.

Tonight, as I was heading home, I passed by an ailing old man who was leaning against a railing, seemingly in pain and out of breath. There was a woman standing nearby, looking at him. At first I thought she knew the man, but when I paused to see if "they" needed any help, she looked at me questioningly, and I figured that she was also a stranger who had also stopped due to concern. She finally approached the old man, with me tagging along. It turns out that the old man had cancer, was about to die (he brought medical certificates with him), and all he wanted was to ask money from the government so that he would be able to bring his kids home before he passed away. But all he got were empty promises. Fortunately, the woman who was with me turned out to be a very kind lawyer, and she helped him out.

We need more people like her...

-----

Speaking of cancer, my family is getting all paranoid again. A month ago, one of my cousins died from leukemia, and now we just found out that another cousin of ours (from a different family) had a tumor on his knee (?).

(The first one was only 16. The second one is just graduating from grade school.)

The doctors say that it isn't life threatening, and there's no need to amputate his leg, which is a relief because he's really a good athlete and it would be a real shame if that did happen.

But I suppose our parents just can't help but worry.

For some odd reason, I was totally unprepared for last year's holiday season.

It's not that I didn't try to do my shopping early. My sister and I went around town to every mall we could go to look for gifts. But for some reason we had a lot of difficulty looking for the right ones that we ended up shopping all the way up to the 24th of December!

This holiday also seemed to be my busiest. I seem to have gone all over the place. Our yearly trip to Baguio usually only takes place within 3 days, but we stayed there for 4 days this time around (not that I'm complaining - I loved the weather! And yes, I had looked up towards the moon during the evening. It had been cloudless. It was beautiful.) For the New Year, we went to my maternal grandmother's place at Cabanatuan... which we haven't done for... what... 3 years? 4 years? 5? It was so sudden (I only found out the day before), I wasn't even able to send out my New Year's greetings. :(

Oh, and before I miss it again...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

(It is still a new year, after all. Hehe.)

Speaking of that sudden trip, I usually hate seeing my grandmother, ever since she scolded me back when I was in first year college for taking up computer science, which she associates with the devil and that the second coming of Christ is near and would not take me to heaven because of it and all that crap. It seriously ruined my relationship with her, which used to be so good. I avoided her for years, and though my parents tried to talk me out of it, I hardly spoke a word to her when we're in the same room.

However, this year was a vast improvement for me, as I had a long conversation with my parents, my uncles, and my grandmother. I guess my advantage was that I now had back-up. Oh, the "second coming of Christ" speech was still there. But at least she didn't (or can't) associate computers with the devil anymore. I mean, my parents and uncles are talking about how advantageous technology is, as they now use them to save lives and such.

Anyway, as I was chatting with them, grandma suddenly commented that I had changed, since I was now quite "talkative", unlike the times we've met before. My parents said that it was probably because I now had more "work experience". I'm grateful they didn't tell her that the reason why I didn't talk much back then was because I was still angry at her.

So... am I still angry? My blood still boils whenever I remember that fight we had, so many years ago (I had been angry enough back then that I had walked out of the room, which had been a first for me). Sometimes I can't help but feel that perhaps the only reason why I talked to her when we visited was because I knew she could say nothing against me this time.

I do hope, however, that this is part of a long-overdued healing process for me, and that the next time we meet I no longer harbor any animosity towards her.

After all. We're all not getting any younger.

After how many years of playing it on and off, I finally managed to finish the YUA game I bought quite a while back.

I didn't really know exactly how to play it, so I made a lot of major guesses along the way (the game is a text-based adventure game with you being presented with a lot of choices). I must have missed the canon story, because the ending credits showed plenty of in-game videos that I wasn't able to see (though I also caught a few).

There really must be more to it as I was not able to see the screenshots that they usually display online for the game. Like the mini-game where Natsumi is singing karaoke. But... gaah, the mini-games are real killers. I think I only succeeded in winning just one. ^^;

I guess my only complaint is that the game, being text-based, wasn't able to display all the action very well. I would have really rather seen them move (either by in-game animation or by the player moving them themselves) whenever movement is being implied on screen - like the times when they're running, or they're chasing after a criminal on Today - instead of relying on sound effects which are both heard and read on screen. And the part where Ryousuke and Miyuki were caught up in a bad explosion... well, every now and then they insert these big pictures about what's happening which you can view full-screen, but I didn't really think it was enough.

Speaking of which, Ryousuke and Miyuki were almost killed, and the others didn't think much about it? Hmm...

Well, anyway, I'd get back to the game to try and get the things I've missed, but I'm quite busy with FF12, so I'll just set it aside once more for the moment. Hopefully I'll be able to see more of the stuff I missed when I pick it up again. XD

Funny how my sister and I had always planned to get our own web space, yet never get around to actually doing so. ^^;

We had hoped to transfer all of our web pages there, given our annoyance at all the ads that come with the free web hosts were our sites are currently located.

Well, anyway, what will happen will happen.

If it does, I wonder if it's ever possible for me to revive the YUAFF site, in a way that the members can just upload their own fics on the site similar to FF.net, instead of me having to do everything?

It would certainly help reduce headaches in terms of chasing people because of lack of requirements on their part. (chuckles)

Ah, but that's wishful thinking. I haven't heard much about the group for years!

(Or it could also be because my old Yahoo ID is dead, and so is my old Lycos account.)

-shrug-

I never thought I would actually see Eto Rangers again. XD

It's really nice to see that old, relatively unknown animes are still in the list of series people are willing to sub.

ABC5 had dubbed it to Filipino once, and I had managed to record some episodes on VCR, but I kind of missed seeing it in Japanese, when I used to watch it every 5:30 pm on NHK local.

They say that people living in a city cannot really appreciate the evening skies as the lights drown out those given by the stars.

Or it could also be that they're too busy to really appreciate the simple things in life. :)

I saw the moon yesterday while I was taking a taxi to Greenhills Shopping Center. It wasn't dark yet - in fact, it was only 5:00pm. It looked like it was waxing a bit at the bottom left corner, but it was full enough to be clearly seen against a beautiful, cloudless blue sky.

I was so caught up with it, I stared at it all the way from Guadalupe until we reached the fly-over to Ortigas Ave., where it was the clearest given the lack of buildings on the said road. It seemed as if it was close enough that I could just reach out and grab it, though I knew that was impossible. Then I thought about the astronauts who had landed on the moon, and how lucky they were.

The last time I remember appreciating the moon like that, I was back home in the province, possibly back in elementary, as I can recall asking my sister why the moon was following us as we traveled back home after visiting our grandparents.

I have to remember to look at the moon as soon as we reach Camp John Hay for this year's Baguio visit with my family and our closest friends. I'll bet it would look even better against a backdrop of mountains instead of buildings.

Having watched "The Sound of Music" on stage with my sister last week, I was reminded of the time when a local channel had aired the "Trapp Family Story" every weekday, along with many other World Masterpiece Theater classics, waaay back when I was in elementary and high school. Unfortunately, it's not so easy to look for copies of the WMT series nowadays that all that is left are those that still remain in my memories...

That being said, I remember the time when a friend and I were watching "Ang Munting Pangarap ni Romeo" ("Romeo's Small Dreams", a.k.a. "Romeo no Aoi Sora", i.e. "Romeo's Blue Skies", based on "The Black Brothers" by Liza Tetzner) back in high school. We were by no means incredibly huge fans - my friend preferred "Cedie, Ang Munting Principe" ("Cedie, The Small Prince", a.k.a. "Shoukoushi Cedie", based on "Little Lord Faunteleroy" by Frances Burnett), whereas I loved "Trapp Family Story" - but we liked the show just the same. Our only problem was that we never saw the ending the first two times it aired, so when it was replayed for a third time, we were determined to see the last episode, no matter what it took!

I believe it was summer at that time, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to watch television on a weekday. Anyway, that friend of mine had been at my house when we finally saw the ending.

Then we thought that perhaps us not being able to see the last episode twice was a sign, because after that we wished we never saw it.

We were so furious about who Romeo ended up with that that's all I can actually remember about the episode, aside from Romeo's occupation when he grew up. ^^;

So for those who were able to see it and can still remember, had the show mentioned anything about what happened to Angeletta after she was taken to Paris for her heart condition? Or did she just... disappear?

Yeah, yeah, we're big Angeletta fans... thus the disappointment at the end. ^^;

I must be one very lucky girl.

A few weeks ago, when I had submitted my resignation letter so that I could attend a 3D animation class I had enrolled to, I had been afraid that I wouldn't be able to make ends meet. Sure, I have my dad's support, but I'm not used to being dependent on my parents anymore, having been working for four years. I want to pay for my bills on my own as much as possible, which is why I had been planning on looking for a part time job while I study, though I haven't gotten around to doing that yet as I've been quite busy.

But then my manager asked me to stay for another month here at work to help with yet another audit. She offered to allow me to go on leave every Tuesdays and Thursdays just so I could go to school (normally they wouldn't allow employees to go on leave on their last month). I'm not quite sure what state of mind I was in when I thought it over, but I accepted, so I'm still on payroll for the month of September.

(The nice bit about that is that fiscal year ends on August, and we get our salary letters by the end of this month, so I assume it's safe to say that my last pay for the month of September is a little higher than if I had left this month. The bad part is that I would have to spend my vacation leaves everytime I go to school, so... so much for getting money from unspent leaves).

When I went home this past weekend, I found out that a small medical lab is hoping to advertise itself further on the web - a corporation of which my parents are part of. My dad recommended me as a web page designer, so I essentially got another job.

At first I thought it was pretty minor - creating web pages is no big deal as of late, especially with the advent of Front Page and Dreamweaver and such. When I spoke to the lab's manager to get their requirements, it turns out that they were more ambitious than I gave them credit for. ^^; Let's just say that they're not asking for simple little niche on the world-wide web - we're talking quite a huge development here. As I'm still an employee for an IT company, I told them I could not work on the development part until October, but I can already work on the web page if they want me to. They agreed.

Since they're insisting on paying me, the first half doesn't pay much, but it still helps. The second half pays *a lot*, so I think that pretty much covers another month... provided I get to finish it early.

It doesn't end there, though. While I was gathering their requirements for the web page, the manager found out that I'm also a programmer (gee, now I'm starting to wonder exactly how my dad advertise me to them...). It just so happens that they're currently having difficulties contacting the developer that made their system, and are looking for a replacement. Guess who they're now looking at to replace him? ^^; They figured that they wouldn't have any difficulties reaching me, since I *am* the daughter of two of the corporate's owners. I'm just one "Jay, the system's all awry so come home and take a look at it" command away... never mind that I've never seen their system before and I probably wouldn't know where to begin. ^^;

Anyway, if that pushes through, I would have another source of income by October. Incredibly lucky, considering that I haven't really had the chance to look for a part time job at all!

It's making me a little suspicious, given that my dad initially had a hand in this and everything. But who am I to complain? At least I'm essentially earning the money he spends for my support during this period... with a little bit of extra cash along the way!

About two days ago, I got this little stuffed toy crab. My officemates and I were having a teambuilding there, and they gave away those toys as freebies if you order shakes or bottomless iced teas. Anyway, they came in three different colors (red, green, and blue). I originally wanted to have a blue one, but fate has it that the red one would be given to me. I immediately named him "Sebastian" (based from that crab composer from Disney's "The Little Mermaid").

While we were waiting for the rest of our colleagues to finish eating, I playfully brought the crab up to one of my friends, opened its cute little crab arms (claws) out wide, and said "Hug me!". She pretended to bite it instead. ^^; I voiced out a good natured complaint, opened the crab's arms again, and once more said "Hug me!". Again, she just pretended to bite it.

And then, for some strange reason, I suddenly felt sorry for the crab. ^^;;;

I guess it just looked so cute with its arms wide open like that, and it had such a happy expression on its face, and I just really, *really* wanted it to be loved (or at least be hugged by someone), that when my friend refused, I just became really sad, even though I know it's just a game. ^^;;;;

I took it home, patted its tiny head, and slept with it beside me.

When my parents came over today for Father's Day, my mother and sisters saw it, and they were all "Ohhhh!!! How cuuuuuute!!!!" with my mother asking me if there was any chance I would be willing to give it away. I thought, given that my mom had other stuffed toys around her bed, that she could give the cute little thing all the hugs it deserved. So I gave it to her.

And then she decided that it was the perfect stuffed toy to be placed inside her car.

So much for the hugs. :(

I didn't want to take it back after just giving it to my mom (even though I was half tempted to), especially since she was happy about it and all, but again I just feel really sorry for the crab.

Maybe I'll take it back the next time I get home. She probably wouldn't notice it's gone given that she's going to put it in the car she barely uses. I know she absolutely loves that car up to the point that she'd rather preserve it than use it, and it's probably the same way with the stuffed toy. But the car is meant to be used, the same way the stuffed toy is meant to be showered with love and hugs and kisses instead of just being left behind...!!!!

I am such a sap. (;_;)